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Thursday, June 30, 2005 |
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life changes..
people changes..
i'm gonna change for the better and concentrate on studies and guitar.
bball was great today with all my neighbours and all.
i will start to cherish the things around me and be smiling always.
thanks to you who made me perk up from my life.
YES , u know i'm talking about you.
BRAND new BOBBY! woots! (:
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ranted by Bobby
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6/30/2005 10:00:00 PM comments
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 |
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this is for the one who once i loved before. emphasis this-> BEFORE.
so people stop asking me, u still like her issit? gosh.
well... she said she is attached but i'm not sure about it BUT i will turn the whole bowen
upside down just to know who is that guy. she COULD ACTUALLY simply forget and move on easily. unlike me, still stuck in that shadow which made me hard to move forward.
but upon learning this, if this is true that she is attached, i will just move on and heck care her!
this is my blog ! so i just decided to rant everything. well.. name is not mentioned anyway.
i hate her for that. for being so unfair sometimes. i really do. maybe i said this is a fit of anger but then.. i just don't know why. sometimes i just feel so pitiful for her when so many people complained to me and say how much they hate her. but i understand the situation u r in.
well... i don't knw what else to say. all the best to you then. i choose to forget u totally. i will try.
went to court just now and it started raining. whenever im down, the sky will accomadate
with me and just rain like how my heart is experiencing inside. and that time, i was alone in court with no one and no ball. but qi brought the ball down and later many came down and we just started playing. it was fun and nice. but i think jovina that GOOD mei injured my broken nail once again. but is was nice playing with her but then i have to sacrifice my basketball. sighs!
no one in my poly class knows how i feel sometimes. when im down, ive to act as if i strike lottery.
i want someone true-est in this world.
i'm holding on... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/29/2005 08:42:00 PM comments
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Tuesday, June 28, 2005 |
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2nd post of the day.
ok. i just had a chat with somebody i used to know quite well.
i told her how i felt and yes, was kinda embarassing saying it out. it takes some courage.
well.. people always say, girls tend to be more emotional and normally will think about their first love or long years stead. therefore, i kinda always have that inability to move beyond that. i tried. but i failed. yes.. i ACTUALLY but again. failed. who knows me more than myself?
ok.. i did ask "her" before but she can tell me something that brought me down to earth.
-yes.. its over. in fact,it is. and you gotta face it.
to someone who still stuck with life.
move on with it when that someone got no feelings for you already. even if you all are close that doesnt means it will be back in future. loving is not about forcing each other to be together.
but is the feelings that counts. agree with me. if that prince of urs is gone or leave you for some reasons, one day, u will find a prince eventually as god plan everything nicely for your life. PRINCESS and prince always will be together. no doubt about that yeah.
if i know how to say all this, i should practise and apply it.
i'm trying hard and i will try thru falls and falls.
just because of your phrase,it will motivates me. |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/28/2005 08:47:00 PM comments
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Monday, June 27, 2005 |
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first thing on my mind. my right arm aches alot whenever i lift up.
that's terrible! i might not be able to play basketball but then i just endured all along.
angela bus pass by me this time but i didn't saw it again. fateless perhaps.
went to melanie house and teach her some computer stuffs this afternoon again.
yeah... bought a cake up and a bread for my own lunch. i'm so darn hungry but that cost me so much already that i spend almost to 10 bucks today. argh... nvm. save for tomorrow.
she is always like so scare of lizard. SMALL one somemore. wahaha.. then went to court to meet junhao for basketball and all. dinner after that.
-to someone...
i always thought of buying that champagne grape for you whenever i'm getting bubble tea.
asking you to do a simple job, and yes, i ACTUALLY have to initiate to ask u to help me buy.
where else i call you to ask u whether you wanna drink. what is this? this show it doesn't pay to be good. so i decided not to be so nice anymore and i will remembered that 12am today is over.
sometimes it just piss me off. argh. whatever shit.
now in progress of resting my arm. can't type much. it hurts... :( |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/27/2005 08:24:00 PM comments
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Sunday, June 26, 2005 |
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its been a long time since i last update this blog.
but it seems like nothing , no one have been here due to the boring atmosphere.
i'm getting sick of it too. during this past two days away from the world of network,
i came upon to learn that this life is actually full of happenings.
i'm always stuck in this world of network which is so boring.
i must get to know more about the outside world.
and to you, the one always changing plans last minute. i'm not gonna like give in or what.
i make plans all prepared and stuffs and you say cancel just like that.
i'm not petty or what, but is the responsiblity.
you might be unhappy after reading it but still i got to say out.
you know who you are.. the one who don't reply sms either.
last friday was my parents anniversary and we had a celebration together. with my older brother girlfriend. we got to know each other better and i just like this way.
we talked and have laughters being together. it had been a long long time ago since we did that.
i'm glad about it and we took some pictures. great one! but then...i can't upload.
someone gotta REMIND me about this, no relationship and crushes at the moment.
i can't waste my time.
-GUITAR, STUDIES, FRIENDS, BASKETBALL.
that's enough.
starting from now... guitar time. |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/26/2005 03:31:00 PM comments
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Thursday, June 23, 2005 |
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right now i'm posting this in school lecture.
well.. my laptop is down. sighs. now i know how angela felt when her com is dying.
i'm dying from it as well. all my documents and settings. argh!
that is like my daily use. well... off to lessons.
hopefully i can be online today. sighs! :(
god bless and everything will be fine.
you are no longer the one i use to know... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/23/2005 04:45:00 PM comments
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005 |
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the basketball court now seem souless and not happening AT ALL.
the roar of laughters seem to be overdaunt by the whispering cold wind.
everything just changed in a gasp of wink to me. i believe me myself change too.
this is getting ot of hand. even one of my buddy said i changed to be serious in a BAD way.
the worst fear has arrived. the fear of the people in the court drifting away.
god, this isn't a good sign. do something please.
school was usual as per normal. just that i paid EXTRA attention to Cprogramming because i need to teach "her". that's actually a kind of motivation to me which is a good thing.
went to J8 and got "her" something as an encouragement to learn better and intend to give her a surprise but then she cancel tmr lesson. well.. what to do? is always like that. is hard to be a nice man. agree everyone? i'm loss for words. everything don't go the way i want it to be.
when one is down with luck, everything is going down. no doubt about that.
i prayed that everything will be better. i really do hope so. |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/21/2005 08:56:00 PM comments
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Monday, June 20, 2005 |
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school was alright today.
just that someone like kinda reached school earlier than me.
and i waited purposely for another bus in the end,im late for waiting her.
well.. forget about it. get use of it.
esther and shaingg went camping. kimli with some personal matters. take care yea!?
is busy time. and i'm getting sick of basketball again. i'm simply tired and bored of it.
is the same thing again and again. maybe timeout.
i might skip the trial for nyp basketball too and concentrate on my guitar club.
i just realised that her blog is installed with password thingy that i can't go in at all.
something happen to her but she rathered keep it to herself. her decision.
life seem so bored all of a sudden...
hope it will be a better day tomorrow.
god bless "u". |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/20/2005 08:47:00 PM comments
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heading for someone house for some private tutoring now.
hope everything goes fine. yeapps.
well... is so obvious that everything is fading.
so i have decided to just leave it that way.
that way of ignoring and not caring about it,
if it is meant to be , it will be mine eventually.
GREAT mind knows how to think.. (:
off i go.. stupid junhao, overslept! |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/19/2005 09:51:00 AM comments
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Friday, June 17, 2005 |
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a bad knock on the teeth and lips by a elbow during a bball game.
not in the mood to talk much.
every friday been like that. sighs.
guitar orientation tmr morning. hope for the best.
sighs. moody.
time for discussion of putting on a braces. |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/17/2005 07:17:00 PM comments
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Thursday, June 16, 2005 |
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she said she miss someone! who could it be?
although the chances are slim i still hope upon a miracle.
owell.. even my friends can spot her in ps. like why is this so?
that's weird. have been concentrating in class for today.
learnt alot because normally i'm distracted and i will miss alot.
but different mind setting for today. thanks god.
and yes, is confirmed that everything is fading.
it can be sense and talking to her on the phone,she just seem listless.
kinda discouraging but well.. life's like that.
cycle of a jigsaw puzzle. :( |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/16/2005 09:58:00 PM comments
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 |
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im mentally and physically tired...
i'm trying to endure...
i'm moving on with life.
and yes.. is getting better this way.
i exchange school pointers with melaine. yeah... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/15/2005 09:42:00 PM comments
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005 |
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life is full of miserable and happy things.
first of all, though she sms me and told me she care, but i got this feeling that is no longer the same anymore. its just keep fading. i don't know why. i'm trying my best to hold on to it.
now i'm sure that STRANGERS can't come in as the password is harder now.
to this unreasonable girl.
so what if i keep blogging about her. is my life!
and you are the kid here. is my luck to have a friend lesser.
U MAKE NO DIFFERENCE! think about what you said perhaps?
fancy you making a nuisance when i'm not in the mood.
u are asking for death.
luckily i have friends in court like junhao,alex, shaingg,esther,nic,pauline,geok,andre,aloy,jovina,nathanial,ah boy,nono,xiaoqi, and those sgs peeps. they always cheered me up no matter what.game with jovina xiaoqi all the team are great. but whenever i'm down, i jsut don't do well. yes. i kept missing her. oops! i mean the shots i made. i'm confused and don't know what to do. i just can't find the RIGHT person to talk too. sighs! owells...
down and tired... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/14/2005 09:35:00 PM comments
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Monday, June 13, 2005 |
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i tried to be that guardian angel in that song but is hard to do it.
i did tried everyone. i really do. everyone knows that.
but sometimes she just don't bother or care about it ?
i can't do anything because she is not my whoever.
i told myself to calm down and not to think so much but it failed.
i changed the password partly because of her. i don't want her to see my ramblings.
i was the one who told her i will wait no matter what. so endure bobby.
actually yesterday i waited quite late just for a sms to see whether she can make it but...
i won't sms her just in case i'm a nuisance to her. just like it be.
she will sms me if i think she is bored or something. we are just like living in two different world of education. is close to impossible yeah? *nods* till then... sighs. i've no idea what to say.
day out with junhao,esther,shiangg and kim is fun at first but then the later part. someone should know there is always a limit to everything. so yeah. and partly because of the above mentioned.
i must catch up with my work. sighs.. :(
where are you? |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/13/2005 08:10:00 PM comments
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Sunday, June 12, 2005 |
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sometimes i wonder if i can turn back time to give u a chance to reconsider your answer...
it hurts me that he isn't treating you the right way...
but like what u said to me, i can't do anything.
yes i know i can't do anything but i know i can do something which u won't stop me,
sharing your sorrows and pain. trust me i can... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/12/2005 10:22:00 PM comments
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Saturday, June 11, 2005 |
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i think she is keeping her words of keeping in contact.
i said that because of her sms. anyway, those that say will KIC wil normally don't do so.
well.. got my both knees injured yesterday while playing basketball and getting a unknown cut at my back? i don't even feel anything at all. what is happening?
should i change my password again? for some reasons. yeah... i shall think about it.
my trip together with junhao to alex house was fun. watched sassy girl. and i FINALLY got to see nono again. the always licking my leg, dog. owells...
i realised something... movies ending always have a happy ending.
but for me, i realised i'm always the opposite of it.
i'm either not attractive enough or i'm too late by a step.
i'm getting weaker and WEAKER like what esther mentioned to me.
i'm tire easily and this is a weird thing for a guy who play sports daily.
something wrong?
take care girl. somewhere out there, if u r having fun, i'm feeling happy for u too (: |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/11/2005 09:56:00 PM comments
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Friday, June 10, 2005 |
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there is this song that says what i am experiencing & will be experiencing for the incoming days.
that song is she who used to send me but i didn't really hear the lyrics till now.
and is this all god plan? well.. is shuo yi by slyvester sim.
i will be that happy and sad guardian angel guarding you...
the aftermath of this fairytale,
i woke up late and i'm late for lecture all because of waiting for the cab.
it took simply long!
everyone has been cheering me up and stuffs. thanks (:
it takes time friends, it will be fine.
god has it plans. take care always *angel |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/10/2005 03:01:00 PM comments
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Thursday, June 09, 2005 |
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glad to hear from her once again through sms.
i'm happy for her decision and i will be waiting.
think about the optimistic way, she might be happier with him?
a better future and secure man? yes. god will bless them (:
for me, i will be a stronger person hopefully and continue my journey of life for now.
at least i knew something from her. and thanks.
i walk a lonely road on the boulevard of broken dreams... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/09/2005 10:09:00 PM comments
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i did all i can. i tried my best. but i still fell and failed.
i'm disappointed and hurt badly of course but i'm not going to give up.
i can be stronger after this i believe. i just got myself deeply cut and it need time to heal.
please give me some time my friends and those who ACTUALLY cared.
much appreciated for the past few days concerns and care.
my fairytale story had just ended in that way but at least it leaves back swt memories.
when will the real bobby resurfaced again? is hard but please try. argh!
can someone pick me up again and i'm sure you will be remembered for life?
lastly, all the best to you. hope we can still be friends and alarm clock blah blah blah in the past. |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/09/2005 12:32:00 PM comments
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Wednesday, June 08, 2005 |
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well... even salad my hamster left me for heaven this morning.
angel from the sky from the heaven left me and put me to alone.
all the bad things just came at a time which left me lost and tired.
i cried myself to sleep yesterday... why is this so?
the news of the dead of salad made alot of people worried. sorry about it.
esther and shianggling was so nice enough to buy me new baby hamsters immediately. i'm sorry that i can't keep it anymore. seriously THANKS ! i appreciated it alot! sorry for u all to pay. i'm totally right about what is on her mind because i prayed to god help. he kinda tell me through a unknown voice in my mind. i'm just disappointed that during that time when he neglected her, who is with her instead? what's make him with the right to go back to her in anytime he wants? isn't that right? people says guys in army are lonely that's why. even if i can't get her,i don't want her to be hurt be him once again. i may not know the reason on what he wants to be back with her but still. i will be praying him again. i believe *angel can think properly. like what my friends told me, what decision she made, just respect it. i will. yes. if she is meant to be yours, she will be one day. coming back to you... i will be waiting for that day. i'm sorry for assuming things but maybe they are together already? still ... my mouths are shut for now.
the thoughts of her makes me moody. basketball skills started to get lousier. the distractions in lectures. i really hope to talk to her. just her voice will be enough. even a sms will do.
but i lied to myself, alright. she is still slping probably. and that went on till 8pm.
a blank sms will do too as i know that u r at least fine and safe.
at least i cross ur mind. for tonight,i will wait till 3am again just for your sms. hopefully...
i'm gonna blackout for the first time in my wholelife soon.
they said man best friend is a dog. this is nono when i took him out a day with me when im sad.
my friend upon seeing a accident today adviced me to express to u my sincere love because u never know when u will leave this broken world. find me a pest, but im gonna sms and tell her that. just in case.... bobby might be gone and vanished like my hamster... who knows.... :(
not forgetting my brother who is with me all this while.. vinz and junhao. thanks ! |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/08/2005 04:11:00 PM comments
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005 |
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when everything goes wrong, things just won't go your way too.
now my blog is attached with a password security. only people who are nice and friendly are allowed. owells.. my heart prickled again this morning when i woke up all of a sudden knowing i'm late. god's calling? FIRST bad happening. that prick was so painful that i've to endure with it.
but no matter what, first thing on my mind, omg! i've to wake up her. and yea.. she is up by then. took a cab down to school and i'm early for half an hour. during this past one week, my average slping time is like 2.3oam and waking up at 6.15am. SECOND bad happening. insufficient sleep adding to the flame in my heart. i've been giving her time to think about it and give her time for everything she is suppose to do. i tried very hard not to feel that way but that feeling is simply terrible! with no one to confide in when i'm really down and tired this few days.
i felt so blissful and happy when she is in my life but all of a sudden,it just had to change. i tell myself not to cry and face it but who can i really approach and talk. WHO!? the problem is not my friends but me myself who rather choose to keep it to myself because i don't want them to get worried for me. i'm disappointed when you didn't tell me your problems but to your friends but i don't know what is bothering you too. i tried asking but i think i'm getting irritating and i finally got the first stern warning from you which shocked me and almost get me into a car accident! THIRD BAD HAPPENING.i just felt so lost that time that i know my heart is crying and hurt. IT really hurts like something is stuck inside. upon yesterday night, i coincidentally went into chris friendster and when i find out that he got a gf , i was wondering how coud he do that to you!? many thoughts just went through my mind. what i said here is all i wanted to tell all my friends but i didn't say it out because i think is not right. i wanted to tell jol too but seeing her happy nowadays make me avoid her instead. all this are kept within me. can any kind souls tell me what to do? going to school and with that attitude, i'm no difference from a dead person. perhaps soon. i needa recover but ... i don't dare to sms her how i'm feeling now which will only makes her feel more irritated and hate me. i won't want that to happen.
but this is for you-i will keep praying for you for that decision u gonna made. i'm gonna be right there waiting like a fool or dumbdumb whenever you need someone to lean on. i will pray to him to make u get well soon. i wonder how you are feeling. i don't even know anything right now. failure! seriously people, i think i am a failure. i can't do anything to help her or make her smile when she is down. i'm gonna give u all the time. i will be waiting for the time when we first used to know each other. lastly, i'm sorry for all the things i made u fed up. i'm missing you badly and iloveu
-memories which is kept all the while
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| ranted by Bobby
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6/07/2005 08:07:00 PM comments
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Sunday, June 05, 2005 |
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my mood changed and i decided not to go to a close one party.
i shared her sorrows whenever she needs me. but i seldom share the joy.
i used to tell myself, ok ... is alright to do that and i can take it.
but now i can't take it anymore. perhaps just be normal.
i didn't go to your party because i can't take it.
anyway, when u read this entry,i think party's over. hope u had fun. sloj.
well... everyone from the court and all my friends have been wondering something.
the answer shall be out today. yes! bobby is in love. in love with this someone who had been calling him dumbdumb , da ben dan, go and die, oh my godddd and much more.
and she who watched the show with the soundtrack which goes like this...
i like to move it, move it. i like to move it,move it. YOU like to.... move it!
the way she taught me how to use a camera and take nice pictures.
i'm sorry that i bang u to the wall. seriously i am.
that's all in the memories always. ok...
~I love you
but remember this bobby. this is a one sided love all the while. i will work hard to win u.
i want to wish for high hopes but i'm afraid to fall. the feeling isn't great.
like i saw this theory here saying. how to know whether you are in love?
she is always in your mind every sec. yes. it happens and is true.
now the only thing will be TIME. it proves everything.
i will keep praying for miracles, the patience and the commitment.
i think i shall be out for blogging world. she seem uninterested... owells. things will get better isn't it god?
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| ranted by Bobby
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6/05/2005 03:13:00 PM comments
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-* my first outing with her ended happily but tiring.
hope for the best for everything as i'm still striving and waiting.
i need to prove myself and work hard for it.
i know how i will be if it is a failure because the ppl in court should know,i can't take it anymore.
thanks for all the people who supported my decision and gave me advice.
went to cineleisure with her and she is just like me. always friends all around. (:
watch madagascar and it was worth watching. cute and funny! i enjoyed it.
but then i have to scrimp for tomorrow as i spent quite alot. but i think it is worth it.
nvm. it is always suffer then gain or gain first then suffer.
i'm confused as things kept running thru my mind. everything in the past and all.
i need people we really can advice and bring me through all this. hopefully
_______in a good way... |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/05/2005 12:14:00 AM comments
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Saturday, June 04, 2005 |
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- thanks to jeanyip senior creative designer gary for this new hair cut. its rocks! 8 dollars!
i will be back often just for it and with more friends ! (: hopefully to get ur haircut again and make "people" jealous.
i really hope we can have an answer soon. i'm afraid and everything. who knows? only nono knows about it. coz i talked with him and tell him all. nono is a DOG btw.
i wanna make her feel special like a real angel. i want to do everything once again and be real nice and stuffs. if people ask, how sweet can you be... i can't be sweet but i'm always true at heart. (: |
| ranted by Bobby
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6/04/2005 12:14:00 AM comments
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